Return to Article Index  >>

ACTIVE LISTENING IMPROVES LIFE'S BOTTOM LINE
(Part 1 of 2) By David LaManna

In his acclaimed book "Selling the Invisible" author Harry Beckwith says that the most compelling (selling) message we can deliver to potential customers is:"I understand what you need."In other words, before we can attempt to sell our products, services or ideas we must go through a discovery process. This requires that we listen. The problem is that most of us ignore, distort, forget or misunderstand about 75% of what we hear. Dr. Ralph Nichols, a pioneer in the study of listening, noted that bad listening is the true cause of lost sales, lost customers, production breakdowns, personality clashes, poor morale and misguided management. That's quite a list of problems to blame on poor listening yet research supports those findings.

It follows that a practical way to enhance our business and social lives would be to upgrade our listening skills. Just think about the benefits of active listening. First, of course, is that by listening we can learn about our customer's wants and needs. We can hear clues, concerns or misunderstandings from our customer's perspective. We can keep the customer focused and at the center of attention (where he or she should be). We can learn how to improve service to our clients while improving our professional image. Most importantly, the customer information we collect from active listening can help us build the long-term client relationships that strengthen retention and increase profitability. (And think about out personal relationships and how they might be improved with active listening or being able to say to our significant other, "I understand what you need." All that Venus/Mars theory could be thrown out the window). There sure are plenty of great reasons to take listening seriously. But let's talk about why many of us don't.

Obstacles to Listening

1. The first problem that we encounter is that most of us have learned selective listening. Like our hearts, our ears are always "in use" But we only hear a minute part of the information in our environment. We've trained ourselves to block out much of the surrounding audio input so that we can use our minds for other things. Unfortunately, our use of selective listening makes us dubious listeners and leads us to disregard information that we should be hearing that could affect our careers, our personal lives and our lives in general. I know that when I'm focused on watching a UCONN basketball game and my wife starts asking me a question, it seems that her voice is so far away, like a buzz a in the distance. My selective listening kicks in and I'm just nodding my head to whatever she says thereby setting me up for problems later on.

2. Another problem that thwarts our listening efforts is "mental roaming". This occurs because most of us speak at a rate of up to 150 words per minute while our mental capacity allows us to hear at about 300 words per minute. This differential between our capacity for hearing and the quantity of words we can speak is at the core of many listening problems. Think about your own experiences. Have you ever "performed" other activities, either mental or physical, while listening to someone talk? Have you ever become bored and taken a mental hiatus during a conversation? I know there have been times when I've been listening to a friend and I've mentally ejected from the conversation to think about something else going on in my life.

3. This leads us to a third obstacle to listening that can be called self-centeredness. Many times our human nature finds it difficult to entertain other viewpoints or ideas, especially if those ideas are not ours. This can and does lead to defensiveness. We unconsciously develop an unwillingness to listen. In an effort to get our own viewpoint across we shun listening so as not to appear as though we are agreeing with an opposing school of thought. We are impatient and preoccupied with our own words and often disregard or show no interest in what others (customers, spouses) are saying. Though much of this is done subconsciously, there are times when we intentionally shut down our listening because of feelings, emotions, opinions and other things that get in our way.

4. Finally, not many of us have ever had listening skill training. Yes, that's right. Listening is a skill. Unlike hearing, which is automatic, listening requires application and effort. Like any other skill, it takes time, learning and practice. The rewards and benefits can be life-changing.

In Part 2 we'll discuss some techniques we can practice and use to become superb listeners. Until then, listen to the sounds around you…

© Copyright 2004, David LaManna. All Rights Reserved.